a change is as good as (13/March/18)

the mountains looked quite solemn tonight…
as though they were mourning… what?… who?… I couldn’t say, and neither were they instead choosing to stay stolidly mute…
I don’t think they care if I know or anyone for that matter, or not… it’s their thing, their weight, their burden……
I can’t believe those who when asked if there’s anything in their life up to this point that if they could go back they’d change will answer, “not a thing”… really?… not one thing?… not a jot?… have they lead such a charmed life or perhaps wrapped up in some smug delusional perfect imperfection?…
no one can be that content…
this is then often qualified with, “if I did I wouldn’t be the person I am today if I did change anything”, with a strangled self-satisfied smile and quite possibly at the same time thinking the polar opposite…. I couldn’t think of a better reason to go back and change a musty shed-load of things accompanied by a groan, a wince and a grimace… Groan, Wince and Grimace, sounds like a firm of solicitors… or undertakers!… not to mention Mr Sigh, entering stage left tripping over his own impotent exhalation…
perhaps these contentophiles are much better at self-delusion or merely surrendered to the inevitable, that of the unchanging and haunting fossilised past… perhaps change itself is the delusion (oops, sweeping that statement under the carpet methinks)… you can’t change the past, obviously, but also you can’t change the future as some claim, because it hasn’t happened… all you can do is manipulate possible outcomes, and this isn’t changing anything…… can you change the present?… ah yes, the holy grail, the here and now, the what is happening right now… and now… and now… you’d have to be quick, fleet of foot, faster than sound and light and even thought (can anything travel quicker than thought?),less than split seconds, seconds split finer than your split-ends to tinker with.. but it’s too late!… you missed it… and missed that one too… maybe wait for the next one… nope, you missed that one too…… how on earth is one to change what’s happening against these odds?…
the mountains know this, sitting there all confident and stern and wintry grey, decidedly unmoved by such frivolous foibles…

© 2018 robert greig