dear dairy… (14/July/18)

dear diary,

I sometimes misspell you, though not on purpose and hope you can forgive my occasional misdemeanour, and you sometimes come out as dairy which I’m sure you’ll understand can lead to all manner of complications… luckily I’ve not mistaken you, yet at least, for diarrhoea, a word itself a nightmare to spell correctly at the best of times without second guessing oneself, not to mention there being two accepted (though not acceptable) versions, the other dropping the ‘o’ though you’ll be pleased to know I don’t approve of that seeing it as a bit flippant to do so… and I couldn’t  imagine confiding in my diarrhoea in quite the same way as I would a diary, or even a dairy which would not only be weird but also pointless as its sole advice to any confessions would always be the same, not to cry over spilled milk.

… and as for occasional, there’s another slippery one, one ‘c’ two of ‘s’, one ‘s’, two of ‘c’…… anyway, I won’t bother your pulpiness with this one, thanks for listening and also for not making any crass jokes about pasteurising……

yours sincerely,
me.

© 2018 robert greig

like-mind (21/June/18)

but I don’t want to wake up

you have too

why? why should I?

because I say so

but that’s not fair, surely I have a say

not if you’re asleep

but I’m not asleep, I’m awake now

yes, you are but you weren’t when the decision was made

and who made it?

me

why?

because I’m awake

so I have to be awake because you are?

of course

but I’m tired

well, it’s too late now because you are

I could go back to sleep…

no, you can’t, I won’t let you

why?

it’s the solstice, the longest day

so, does that mean I’m not allowed to sleep?

seems so, if I’m not then you can’t be, simple

but doesn’t that mean that it’s going to be an awfully longer than usual time before next bedtime?

possibly, probably, maybe, depends

on what?

on when you go to bed

can I go to bed now?

no

why?

because I say so

how does that make sense?

because I’m awake, ergo, you should be too

I’m still not getting it, you can’t stop me nodding off…

yes I can

how, how could you? sounds like a bluff to me

because I’m you

what?

I’m you

how can that be

and you’re me

what? absurd…

and as I’m awake, and I say again, ergo, you are, it’s a fait accompli

I didn’t know I was multilingual

you’re not

but….

trust me, you’re not

but I am awake clearly

yes

if I just close my eyes……

hah! too late, you’re awake.

© 2018 robert greig

in prose of saws (12/June/18)

I saw a saw called Predator but it had not saw me, luckily, as just as well as it may saw me with a name like that, like Predator, but what a name, so curious to call a saw as such and not just any saw but this a wood saw, a saw both used by carpenters and joiners to create and make and not to break and wreak havoc as one might rightly say a predator would do upon unwary prey, a prey in which here would be wood which would be strange as such a saw is used to build and not to kill which makes the name, I’d say, most unsuitable, incongruous, misnomerally-so, and it sports a handle red and black and matching sleeve to boot presumably to keep the teeth from gnawing into anything it meets as striking colours you’ll admit though black for some is seen as not, an absence than a colour which is odd but anyway I do digress as the point may be this colour-choice may suitably disguise the blood is sheds while it’s out hunting, as a predator is wont to do but, here’s the thing the thing you see this saw that’s made for carpenters, this saw designed for joiners is a tool, a tool for making and not breaking, for shaping and not preying, be constructive nor destructive, to be tidy not to go all homicide which makes it all the so much more peculiar , irregular, to market it as Predator, dramatic as it would be for a weapon but perhaps not for a tool…..

… and so endeth my bit of prose which I hope you have enjoyed and not endured and read it in the way it should to bring about the subtlety of rhyme instilled, or barely-so, though well I know how these things go, such best-laid plans so often don’t.

© 2018 robert greig