imagine if (10/5/22)

a-side

imagine, if you will, that you are a woodlouse…… weird, isn’t it……

b-side

dear websites, will you stop asking me about cookies, there only so many cookies even a cookie monster like me can handle, what are you trying to do, turn us all into couch-cookies?… and we all know that in many cases if you don’t accept them then you’re denied access and if you’re given the choice and get access to the site regardless then of course, who on earth would choose ‘yes’?… no one… you just want to get your hands under my data, don’t you, I know your type, all charm and smarm until you don’t get what you want, then you sulk and get all snidey and sometimes downright abusive… we all know, or at least I think we do and if anyone doesn’t they really should pay more attention, that we, the punters, the users, the ‘consumers’ if you like, don’t need them, not to mention yours never ever come with chocolate chips… you’re like that weird stranger with insidious intentions, not to mention you’re giving cookies a bad name… you know and I know all these cookie messages that slash across our screens are meaningless and are only there for your ends, ends which you curiously keep to yourself… and I know you call them cookies because it makes them sound desirable… ooo, cookies!… I mean, there’s few who’ll say no to a tasty cookie, except in the end all of yours are obviously stale… my favourite is when there’s an opportunity to ‘control’ your cookies, now there’s a concept, how does one control a cookie?… well, if you weren’t ramming them down our throats every second click and swipe then I wouldn’t have to puzzle that one out, and anyway, when you do click it you realise that in fact there’s little to nought you can do anyway, wasting yet again more time and feeling yet another pound expanding your cookie waistline……..

© 2022 robert greig