anxiety · body · depression · diary · health · mind · skin

skin ambivalent, 25/July/17

I live inside a skin
my skin ambivalent…..
it’s with me all the time
every second of every minute of every hour of every day ad infinitum…… until it isn’t…
I wake up wearing this same skin then slip inside another, sometimes coarse, sometimes soft, sometimes softer than the one beneath…. sometimes fitting, sometimes not, sometimes subdued, sometimes not, sometimes itself overlaid a skin upon another skin upon the skin beneath the skin beneath hiding in plain sight……
before I leave the house, another skin….
itself it wears expressions, some visible some not…… careful not to get too close… and mind the gap……..
time is sloughed as skin to be replaced then sloughed, replaced, then sloughed, as and when, discards strewn as trails of mute distractions…..
I’m the skin I’m in until I’m not the skin I’m in…….
a layer cake of unreveal that’s far too easy to lose track….
once upon a time a skinny fit, now a comfort fit….. or more fittingly, discomfort fit…..
on my skin I wear the pores, the hairs, the blemishes and freckles, the bruises, the scars…..
in my skin I wear my bones, sinews, muscles, organs, capillaries and veins, and water, water everywhere and never quite enough…….
beneath the skin beneath the skin anxieties and fears, terrors, wounds and darkness,  damaged goods and futures past , sticks and stones and broken glass….
the me within…. without….

© robert greig 2017

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