anxiety · death · depression · diary · dreams · insomnia · mind · sleep · weather

sleepfractured, 18/July/17

sleep / fractured
wayward… broken…
I know what a sink plughole feels like when the plugs been removed and everything unfiltered rushes down it….
one of those nights when it seemed all the demons came out to play… every possible tiny worry, fear, panic, anxiety emerged from the corners of the room to taunt…..
sleep / fractured
3am…:… sleep seeps off the pillow scrabbling for the open window… and gone….. I shouldn’t have left it open but it’s so hot… too hot…… light on, got a drink, read a bit, thought I’d fool my body-clock into starting again as I had hours before…….. even my aches ached……. finally, light out, drink done, book closed, laid down again…
side
to side
staring at the ceiling through closed exhausted eyes….
fleets of imaginaries brush across me, my bare skin….. hiding behind the silence they whisper through the room… up and down the walls…. along the duvet…… breathing on my limbs…. they wink and tap and creak and click and sigh and sigh…….. tentatively toying with their toys and with me……. nothing shreds this reckless air, nothing stirs but me……
sleep / fractured
visitations of voices none a language I can translate or even understand……… I was never much of a linguist……… up close and personal the heat melts a skin across my skin… too close, too personal……. the day forgot to end and the night neglected to begin, to exhale its cool relief, instead it hangs on stand-by while tomorrow’s already starting to stir…..
instincts wrap my duvet around me, instincts throw it off……… restless wrestling with half-light that pins me somewhere in between…. neither one state or the other…….
5:30am…….

© robert greig 2017

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