unfindable, 25/April/17

I’m not even sure who I am, pondered our hero…. or who I was… or never was or what I was however many who’s or what’s that may be….. I surrendered, gave up, let slide, lost time and again…. all gone, all gone, all change!.….. new cards please…….. or who I’m going to be, though clearer of that who than all of the other who’s being the power of imagination, pretence, delusion, with nothing tangible to set it against… I can’t destroy what hasn’t yet been…… until in time that too skates past the point of no return to join the long, long line of never-ams, never-was, never-quites, never-will-be’s, has-been’s…….. it took five years to get to this point to lose it all in three months…. back to square one…. fresh start?… or uphill crawl?…… brick wall?…… apathy, inaction, inertness….. surrender……. to the higher power…. self-loathing……. good word ‘loathing‘, the way it sounds suits its purpose……. exhaustion… the prospect of doing it all over again, ground up, with far less to work with… sapped, drained, siphoned……. hard gains soon gone….. … the taps leaking again… drip, drip…. I could fix that, further pondered our hero… some time……. the scent of decay, soil stains the skin, rub it in rub it in…. release the silence!…. becoming unfindable…. undefinable…….

© robert greig 2017

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s