head for hats, 10/April/17

although I have a head for heights
I have no head for hats
and though the former only sometimes lets me down the latter always does…..
though they’re neither not nor mutually-inclusive or exclusive if that makes any sense other than to say
with heights I’m mostly fine,
with hats it’s just a waste of time……
I’ve tinkered of course, who hasn’t, experimented with hats in my youth, as you do, and even now when forced, usually by a baking sun beating tom-toms on my hairless head….. I’ve tried and tried and tried again to garner some tolerance of hats and yes I like them and think somewhere out there is a hat, THE hat, just right, not too big, not too small, not to dorky……. but…
alas alack
seems I have no head for hats…..
basically I have a hat-unfriendly head, it’s the wrong shape….. hats don’t so much flatter my head as flatten it it or invariably perch awkwardly and embarrassed upon its clumsy bonce…….. I’m mostly (… mostly…) fine with other items of clothing (.. mostly…) but hats defy me at every turn…… it should be me wearing the hat not the hat wearing me…. I’ve tried every conceivable cut, dash, design and style of hat and few came anywhere close to resembling anything vaguely right….. the baseball cap is an almost but still not quite, though even with that it has to be just the right style and of course they don’t protect my ears……… don’t get me wrong, I like hats and am jealous of others I see so easily and casually sporting a plethora of head-wear looking most cool…. then I look in the mirror (always a mistake at the best of times) and all that stares back is an ill-fitting disappointment and an uncooperative head unfit for purpose…….

© robert greig 2017


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