anxiety · depression · diary · mind · phobia · psychology · self · splinters

skin splints, 15th February 2017

it’s been a week since I been outside the house…
actually I have been out, into the garden but not beyond…..
I’m worried I’ll forget how to drive, or even walk…. my disconnect stares back at me every morning from the bathroom mirror……. patterns fall away new ones grow like lichen on a leeward branch…. a half-slumped laburnum cleaving at the earth for dear life, outstretched fingers of root white-knuckle grip as far and as deep as they can to offset its fall caught mid-air…. (splinters…)…….. lie down, close my eyes, why go any further, I’ll just lay here, be here, rest my eyes for just a bit………
I might forget what people look like, the faces of friends becoming strangers becoming stranger……… how to talk, how not to be scared by sneezes or a glance……. do I even know anyone anymore….. has someone, have I, pressed the reset button?…….. is there anybody out there?……..
I could even forget what people are, wide-eyed at this motley collection of odd bipedal shapes promenading and perambulating in nonsensical ways…….. I am early man, an alien, trying to make things that are too big fit into boxes that are too small no matter which way round I twist and turn them in my head………. I’m one too….. I look like them even move like them…… do I feel like them?…….
one, two, one, two, testing one, two…….
I should try not to forget where the edges of my skin are………. running out of food is always an undeniable impetus to go out, emerge into the light, the plight that is ‘outside‘…….. I must remember is gravity works the same out there as it does in here…… should I wear lead boots?……….
it’s been a week, a week and a day………….

© robert greig

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s