nine out of ten cats, 1st February 2017

don’t do it!….. ok it’s safe now you can do it….. phew……. you almost turned over your calendar to February before it was February but as it’s now February then you can…… it’s bad luck to open it too when it’s not time, i.e. the last of a month, e.g. the 31st January… don’t do it!……. it isn’t until it is and that’s that…….. I still don’t get, as in understand, the internet in all of it’s quirks and strangeness, whistles and bells, dibs and dabs, flips and flops, in particular the thing about what is and isn’t true…… to make something not a truth into a truth you’d have to say it lots and preferably with a kind of confident authoritative but also casual tone in your voice….. say it in passing, drop it into conversations with friends and strangers alike as though what you’re saying just is an ‘is’… a fait accompli  in a vague’ish sense…… but here in the netherworld of the earth-breadth-interplace (bearing in mind that size isn’t everything) something that isn’t true can become true in a click of a mouse, the swipe of a finger, the slip of a tweet…. especially if it starts ‘trending‘ or even ‘goes (run for the hills!) viral’…….. luckily I’ve been inoculated against such outbreaks… phew…….. never mind so-called ‘post-truth’, what about ‘pre-truth’?…… and as for ‘alternative facts’, honestly..? …… in fact there is such a thing as an alternative fact, it’s usually called a wrong, an untruth, or simply a lie…. at best an exaggeration….. so as I was saying, it’s all clear and safe to turn over your calendars….. now……. if you did it yesterday then (sharp intake of breath) bad luck for the whole month….. you better start counting black cats to counteract it… and fast!

© robert greig


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