kissing frogs, 26th December 2016

things you shouldn’t do on christmas eve…… or probably any day…… sit in a bath that has a stray holly leaf floating in it (don’t ask!)……. break a tooth…… lodge a thorn of a blackthorn in your eye……. get hypothermia…… set alight to your jumper/ sweater sleeve, especially while wearing it…….. take newly-prescribed meds that result in giving you the bends……… accidentally cut  a chunk out of your ear slicing through an artery ……….  indeed, all things I’ve done or have happened to me, the last being this years gem which reminded me just how much and for how long (ages!) ears bleed…… now I know how Van Gogh felt…… not to mention an ear is a damnably tricky body part to attach a dressing…….  these should surely sit alongside such aphorisms of don’t dos as don’t cut of your nose to spite your face, or your ear!  (if you think sneezing’s bad now imagine it without a nose)……… don’t leap out of a frying pan into a fire…… don’t poke the bear!…. don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched…….. nor fly in the face of reason (unless you have a pilots licence)….. don’t sh*t on your own doorstep, or p*ss in the wind… don’t go kissing frogs…… and don’t make hay while the sun shines…… actually, that last one you can do, whether the sun’s shining or not……… can one ponder in a bath or is pondering only something done in a pond?…  which suggests in a bath you’d be ‘bathering‘…. possibly?….. maybe?……. can’t wait (not!) for what boxing day will bring…….

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