I no longer leap out of bed in the mornings leapily like Mr Leapy Leaper-Leap of Leapsville, Leapagonia, nowadays it’s more of a careful execution of limb extraction from beneath slowly, slowly and inevitably surely do lumpily pour myself from beneath a duvet intent on not letting me go, avoiding light with the stealth of a wannabe but never will be ninja…… mirrors are banned until at least midday and even then only in extreme emergencies… after all it’s not as if a hair can be out of place not having any… as is, if I can help it, talking… as bone by bone slots back into place, hopefully the ones they’re supposed too, while muscles rub the sinews up the wrong way in a muted welter of moan, moan, moan, moan, groan……. to a symphony of clunks and clicks and interjected disharmony of ouch‘ing and ow‘ing.….. I find it a good morning if I can successfully peel my clementine orange in one go… on the whole ‘peeling‘ thing, why isn’t it ‘unpeeling‘ instead…. anyway, I digress, which is permitted as long as 99% of attention is focused upon the kettle….. the remaining 1% on staying upright as I quietly creak around from room to room trying to remember what I went in there for….. and then out again having still not remembered…….. retracing steps and even haplessly hand-miming can sometimes jog the memory to that eureka “oh yeh! that was it” moment……. or not……. and yes, welcome to December, the next month on the list after the one we just had…. I think next year we should mix them up a bit, that’d confuse the seasons even more than they are now…….