a nose for it, 9th October 2016

like a blowfish in a snotstorm…. (and no, the ‘t’ isn’t meant to be a ‘w’)…… welcome to my nose… dare you enter?……. no? I don’t blame you… if it wasn’t attached I’d disown it…. having a cold is all good and well but they’d be much more fun without the symptoms….. (!)……. a veritable sneezehaze I’ve been these past three days….. sneezes to the left of me, sneezes to the right, here I am stuck in the middle… or my nose is, stuck in my middle of my face… and for such a small thing, ok relatively small compared to the size of say, Greenland, it can’t half be alarmingly domineering…. and needy….. always wanting attention rather than just sitting there minding its own business instead of sticking its ‘nose‘ into everything I do every minute of the day, won’t even let me sleep without threatening to dribble or explode into yes, another sneeze……. it’s even cheeky enough (can a nose be ‘cheek’y? now there’s a disarming thought) to threaten a sneeze… and then… and then… and then……. morph into a yawn!….. what’s that all about, how does it even do it…… ruining any sense of brief satisfaction that follows…. and you just know it’s still there… lurking…….. waiting…… to catch you off your guard with an even worse premature sneezalation… when it happens before you’re even ready and unprepared to enjoy the fullness of the experience being left flat, flaccid and decidedly disappointed…….. and then there’s the sneezefest…… when all your sneezes come at once… but…. there’s a sting…….. lulling you into a false sense of it being a finale…. but….. it never is….. and if you listen close enough you can hear it giggling mischievously to itself with a “gotcha!” tone……

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